christmas.2011.

christmas was ridiculous....and i mean that.

clothes, shoes, ipad2, funky chunky silverware, books, movies, gift cards, UT stuff, and more. we had one insane morning. it was interesting and fun to be back in the house just the four of us. lots of love, laughs, and tears.

so incredibly thankful for my family and all they endure to hold me up.

tattoo.3.

12/17/2011

1. cody transfered the signature and the detailed drawing that took two hours.

2. holding by breath while he outlined....i'm thinking that the color should hurt less.
3. shading...yep it was worse than the outline.
4. right after he said "done," then remembered he had to turn the eye white and finish the waves.
5. DONE - for real this time. it's all healed up now. no redness or swelling.

domain.geekness.

caved. faught it off for a long long time.....and now a domain.

as if i needed another geek feather. :)

kristian bush at eddie's was phenomenal and ms. hall made me laugh. the woman at the table in front of us watched the entire show through one of three cameras. it was comical watching her try to work her touch screen smart phone that was not an iPhone.

jason connelly at 'cue saturday night with mr. and mrs. barron. damn that man is talented.

we are still waiting on baby everett!! come on, handsome. show us your face!!! ((even though we are kind of rushing you)).

shopping.and.other.news.

the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem....i think i finally/officially have a problem. :)

purchased in the last 3 weeks.

1. 64 gb iTouch
2. 12-string seagull canadian guitar
3. 24 inch iMac
4. bag full of goods from j.crew
5. p90x including the new videos
6. yo gabba gabba stuff for my prince charming
7. hotel size crate / mattress insert for my lil boy


tonight i went to the grocery store for more than just gatorade for the first time since cait threw me away. much to my surprise, the 5lb box of cuties is BACK!! bought all kinds of stuff - kind of exciting.

i've lost all the weight i need to lose so next is toning and getting ready for the re-appearance of some muscles. brother's tattoo artist should be back very soon and the inner bicep tattoo shall begin. so far there are too many plans to fit in such a small tender spot.

nettles got married saturday - what a bummer :)

started christmas shopping today...cyber monday! HEY!!

skinny.

how do you go from 155 to 118 in 9 months?

ALOT of exercise from January to April. ALOT of changing eating habits from April to July. and a lot of heartache from July until now. I have been steady at 115-120 for the last 60 days.

after two months of pulling my pants up and showing my underwear to the world, i've replaced all of my jeans. now my new ones are slightly big (the true religion outlet is TROUBLE for a jean snob)...back in an xs shirt which is fun. flat stomach and bird legs...now if only i can turn this into a 6 pack i'll be even better. it actually might help if i stop drinking beer everyday but then again, what fun is that.

i've recorded audio to the song below...maybe one day ill auto tune that beesh and post it.....maybe one day.

what.i'd.say.

this is an old earl thomas conley song that gary allan re-did in the 90s. both versions are similar...the lyrics are absolutely perfect. days get easier, sleep comes quicker, and the beer flows freely.

check out these lyrics - sat in my office and cried, and cried, and cried.

Talkin' to the mirror, whispering your name
It's just like you were here, you'd think I was insane
I hold these conversations in the silence of my room
Rehearsing all the things I'd say should I run into you

How's it goin', might be what I'd say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I've missed you
Since you went away
You're lookin' well
Or go to hell
Might be what I'd say

There's time I've been so angry
I could put my fist right through the wall
And then there's times I've come so close
To givin' you a call
I love you and I hate you
All at the same time
Then I pray you'll come back to me
Before I lose my mind

How's it goin', might be what I'd say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I've missed you
Since you went away
You're lookin' well
Or go to hell
Might be what I'd say

Or maybe, God I've missed you
Since you went away
You're lookin' well
Or go to hell
Might be what I'd say

you.should.have.seen.me.saturday.night.

title stolen from an old jodee messina song. ;)

last night sugarland ended their incredible machine tour at philips arena. i had pit tickets and finally balled up and asked an old friend to go. she is cute, fun, a super music fan, and a major foodie. she challenged me all night. she made reservations for terrace at the ellis. we walked the couple of miles from her midtown condo to the restaurant for dinner and drinks. waiter was beyond bad and i appreciated watching her give him a run for his money. for a suburban girl who loves the simple jump in the jeep and drive kind of life, i LOVED being in the city on foot with her.

after dinner (i thought it was good but my foodie date was not impressed!) we walked a half a mile to philips. we missed most of sara b. but that's ok. hanging out with a girl i hadn't connected with in a while was refreshing to say the least. we grabbed a couple of beers and headed to the pit. her eyes lit up as the pit guard put her sugarland wristband on her and in we went. it was a great night singing and dancing together seeing a band we both used to see before much of the free world knew who they were.

after the show we caught a cab with her across the street neighbor and a friend and headed back to 13th for drinks. after midnight the conversation turned to totchos (nachos on tater tots) and she and i set off for nook. holy shit for getting home at 330 a.m.! much needed fun night out!

now i need to get my ass in gear and hit the grocery store and the laundry room to get ready for another crazy week.

last night - j and k. taken from the pit.

and.we're.off.

i knew it had been a minute but i didn't know just how many minutes.

i bought a taylor - it's fabulous and sounds amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

the house looks really really good...and so does the yard, thank goodness! new pinestraw makes one hell of a difference.

the jeep is getting a lift and a black top.

jake is so damn cute, i cant handle it. just me and the boy and it's really nice. i didn't think i'd say that but it is.

in other news, i am not sure how i am attracting two age groups of ladies that i have zero interest in. that would be 35+ (and by that I mean in their 4's!) and under 23 (or 20), WTF. give me something i can work with, eh?

i'll go ahead and credit this song for getting me over the hump so to speak. josh kelley is from augusta and this song is phenomenal. stopped me in my tracks, literally driving in the jeep in the country and had to stop to listen very carefully. thank you sir! all good here on the "broken heart front."

surely there is more to document but i'm being summoned by my 4-legged son that wants to play.

new.found.music.

songwriter hit a dry spell? add a broken heart and suddenly you overflow with words and melodies.

fresh tunes leads to the possibility of a new guitar. been looking at taylors, martins, guilds, and gibsons. decisions, decisions.

speaking of tunes quick run down of what's good in the recently released LPs:

eric church "chief" - great writer, musician, artist. great record. "springsteen" is phenomenal

luke bryan "tailgates and tanlines" - his best release yet. i like it alot more than i was expecting.

jake owen "barefoot blue jean night" - another collection of great summer tunes. <3

brantley gilbert "halfway to heaven" - great ga boy songwriter. re-relased his old independent LP

lady a "we owned the night" - i'm told it's great...i can't get through it without tears so i gave up.

colbie caillat "all of you" - love her voice and lyrics

matt nathanson "modern love" - i didn't think he could get any better. he did.

some of these might be repeats and i'm sure i left at least one out. great new music nonetheless.

vacation.solice.

vacation came and went. i had a nice week with mom, dad, tad, joey, and nana. we laughed, i cried (yes, still having those weak moments), we ate, drank, slept, walked, read, and tanned. learning to relax, one minute at a time. i constantly had a book in my hand to pass the down time.

i fell apart a couple times and then realized how shitty the end really was and i could get it back together.

the bottom line is that i had a beautiful girl with a huge heart and perfect smile for 7 years and 8 months. i miss her and all that we were. i dont miss who she has become these last few weeks.

"life aint always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride."