the boy

the lump came back benign. thank goodness.

in other news, i am being promoted june 1. ah ahem - i am really excited. i love it down there.

i am so frustrated with mens clothes at express.....i have been wearing the small 1mx BUT i need an extra small....and they have like 5 total in the whole damn store.

dinner at mom’s.

tonight is the ACM’s and sugarland is performing all i wanna do....and i cant wait.

i <3 j.n.

jake

my little man.


a bump came up on his leg about two weeks ago. it got bigger. we went to the doctor, $500 to remove it. there is no way we can afford it. 

another few days, it gets bigger.

another vet, watch it and take the antibiotic, if it gets bigger we will remove it.

it is hard - not a good sign. awkward place to operate - not a good sign. growing - not a good sign. on his leg - good sign. he is a baby - good sign. no other side effects - good sign.

my baby boy is having surgery on wednesday morning to remove hopefully just the bump, not his leg.

if this mass is cancerous i will go broke paying for his treatment. i cannot let him go. 



your moms love you little boy.



i never thought i would feel this way about a dog. i rush home every day to see him. call cait to see how his morning was, worry about his every move...and now this. 

all of the doctors have scared us, i hope they are wrong, i hope he is going to be alright with four legs and not three.

above everything else, i want him to have a full life, no matter what. and i will do whatever i have to do, to make that happen. 

tonight i hope that cait noticed it early enough. i hope that the antibiotic for the last week have done some good. i hope it is benign. i hope they are wrong. i hope she is right. i hope that he is too young to have what many think he does. i hope they can close his incision. 

too many emotions. one sweet face. two brown eyes wondering why all we do is cry and hold his 75 pound frame as tight as we can. 

i love him.

fight, handsome boy, fight - and we will fight for u.

i will remember you...

today she turns 8.

ironically we just finished watching the sarah mclachlan storytellers dvd, she didn’t play this song - thankfully. 



for her:

I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories



Remember the good times that we had?

I let them slip away from us when things got bad

How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun

Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one



I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories



I’m so tired but I can’t sleep

Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep

It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word

We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard



But I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories



I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose

Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose

Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light



And I will remember you

Will you remember me? 

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories



And I will remember you

Will you remember me? 

Don’t let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories


Weep not for the memories

sugarland @ the fox

WHAT A SHOW! from the variety playhouse to the roxy, hi fi buys to selling out the fucking fox theater - THEY ROCK. i was totally blown away - again.



i remember seeing them play the mini stage at country fair 4 years ago, thinking who are these people? and now i have never been more moved and proud of a hometown band that i watch grow from the bottom up, inside - out and outside - in. 



tonight the curtain dropped and flood gates opened. i thought about aunt kristen and where she was and what she was thinking. i miss her and hearing her and seeing her. tough love.



jennifer and kristian - what a duo. i mean, really. it was so surreal. i remember texting kathy thinking HOLY SHIT - these are the same people cait, kathy, and i stood at their feet for YEARS. 



i used to make shirts w/ sayings on them for kristen and jennifer and kristian always got a kick out of them.



anyways, i am SO happy for them and seeing them play to a sold out home town crowd was stunning - really.



i <3 them!



OHHHH and the new record is going to be FUCKING FABULOUS! did that sound gay?

amy kuney

so i was on youtube when i first walked in the door tonight - the office was intense the last oh, three hours i was there. 



anyway, i stumbled upon amy kuney - who rocks. check out her covers on youtube...but just go to her myspace page.



http://www.myspace.com/amykuney



all of us lyric whores can appreciate her.



i said to cait earlier, " she looks like kat von d would sound." BUT WHAT I MEANT WAS the girl can sing, really well....AND looks like kat von d.

quirk

talking to mindy tonight i was reminded of the weird little things i dont even quite understand.



i throw up every time i brush my teeth.



i cant eat sandwiches on regular bread - i only eat the bites w/ crust. especially if it is turkey or chicken or some meat.



cait has to fix the covers every night before i go to bed b/c she doesnt make her bed when she gets up in the morning....i cant do it!



i have a strict routine in the morning and if i do something out of order my whole day is ruined....or i have to go back to the beginning and start over.



by 10 a.m. every morning my hair is up - and i dont even look at the clock, it just happens.



it is very rare that i go to bed with dishes in the sink.



every night when i lock the office, i walk across the parking lot to my car get in, get out and go back to check the door, TWICE. it is ridiculous.

i set my alarm 3 times every night as well.



i am overly anal about my laundry and the way that it is folded.



my inner red comes out when i get angry.



i seem like a pushover but you will know i am in charge in no time, just try me.



um, i do go to the nail lady...only for my feet. eek. i just lost major points there.



i am sure there are others but for now, this will suffice.

april 6

april 6 is around the corner.

so many people have that birthday, a boss, a best friend from college, a really good friend’s girlfriend, and her.

i miss that little girl everyday. i can honestly say that i think about her everyday and wonder if she will ever know the truth.

i need to let go and move on and not hold on to dates and numbers and events. problem is, i am not ready.

she will be eight in just a few days, i havent seen her in 5 years on june 3.

why do i force myself to hurt and grieve - i am sure she has not a clue who i ever was, yet she changed my life.

to her i am now a stranger - to me, she flew to heaven to hang the moon and position the stars.

happy birthday angel girl.

m.l.e.

i got tickets to see melissa etheridge! i can’t fucking wait. lots of bitching amongst the atlanta ladies....they don’t like chastain, however we are guaranteed pit rows 1-13, how terrible can it be?! t.c. is trying to get tickets so we can go with him and all sit together, THAT would be fun.

the l word finale left a shit eating grin on my face. I am so thrilled that tina and bette are back together. i mean, they are gorgeous and oh so perfect. oh bette porter. thank goodness for one more season - it better rock the fucking house down.

the sugarland concert is next thursday. i havent seen them on stage in years. i only wish it was at their small hole in the wall venues like variety and roxy....instead of the fox. they have really made it - and i am proud to have been around to watch the band form and really solidify into something so amazing.

oh a john mayer kick for the last two weeks - say what you need to say....i wonder what’s up.

stuff

it has been awhile and i have thought of a few things i needed to say...

i am not under contract w/ verizon anymore...i love their network but i am obsessed with the iphone so we will see...

i hate roswell toyota with a passion - they are complete assholes. 10,000 mile service happened in sandy springs - i love those guys.

scion sent me a $200 off coupon on any service or accessory...i am going to use it on the spoiler. bitches. did i mention i HATE toyota of roswell...now nalley?

i need some sun on my legs...in a bad sort of way. i am thinking of the tanning bed...i said THINKING.

jake turned 1. he is a big boy.

yard sale at mom’s in three weeks. we are getting ready. time to clean out!

i need to get some new shirts and stuff for the spring/summer...not dress clothes, although i do need some of them as well.

i wonder how you “buy” a house and not pay for it. i know of two of these instances..oh how it bothers the fuck out of me.

my underarm itches, goodnight.

best

cait and i saw the best show ever at eddie’s friday night - in the round with g , michelle malone, and caroline aiken. generally there is at least one person in the line up i could live without, however all three of them are amazing.

i am beginning to wonder how i have listened to atlanta based acoustic music for years and have yet to even hear the name caroline aiken - the woman was phenomenal. she is in in her fifties and one hell of a songwriter with the clearest vocals and honed guitar skills, i was oh so impressed and slightly pissed off i hadn’t heard her before.

we have seen malone play a good number of times and last night i was almost drooling over her guitar skills - bad ass at forty-five.

and just in case this is a news flash to anyone - i have been seeing garrison live many many times a year for 7 years now based upon a recommendation from t.c. - back in the day.

today i discovered another new favorite store - banana republic.

cait and i met nana and lauren at the outlet and we all scored some good shit. i left with dress pants, sweater, oxford, polo, 2 pairs of boxers, jeans, 2 t-shirts, and 2 shorts.

cpg took me to the cheesecake factory for dinner - and THAT is my new favorite place to eat.

recap - best show ever, best talent ever, best company, best store, best dinner...