oh. yeah.

i instantly remembered as soon as i hit publish, that monday night was the sugarland special.

oh.em.gee.

if you asked me in 2004 if this small home town band would have a national television special hilighting the release of their fourth cd, i'd tell you that you were 100% crazy. not because this group of people wasn't amazing, talented and entertaining but because things like big record deals and international success dont happen to the overwhelming majority.

i watched with the rest of the country in awe as sugarland hit every note and conveyed every message flawlessly, thinking back to the days when cpg and i stood at jennifer's feet dumbfounded for hours and hours. and yes, i miss those days.

i'll have to find their old promo shot with my head and cpg's hand in the air.

rock. rock.

in the words of ms. nettles "ya damnnnnn right"

forgetful.

i think of so many things to blog about and then...i forget. i really need to start writing them down. let's see if i can get better. that's the new goal.

tonight we picked up our cornhole boards and they have been primed. i will go ahead and admit that my girlfriend whips my ass pretty hardcore EVERYTIME. we need to find more bags....red and black are NOT going to cut it.

i am so happy tomorrow is friday. i need to sleep passed 5:20 very very badly. busy week and i am whipped.

a little more boston baseball and then sleep.

random.ish.thoughts

1. trying this again, due to blogger eating my shit.

2. @publix tonight i bought texas pete, big red, and orange fanta....and i wondered why the checkout lady thought i had issues.

3. didnt leave the house until 6 o'clock this afternoon - nice relaxing day inside with her.

4. dinner with l.g. tomorrow night at red robin.

5. SUGARLAND live on the inside t.v. special tomorrow night at 8 est on abc - tune in. i <3 j.n.

6. our yard looks fantastic thanks to her.

7. terri clark's new live record is wonderful - she has a new self produced record coming out in september - i have loved her since 95, i thought that was wavering....i just had a short bout of cold feet.....all is good now.

8. i have been back in the gym for about a week now - it feels good.

9. mens relay sept 27th (unless i can find a chick to replace me in our line up) - its the morning after my next date with nettles. p.s. yes i am aware i am a girl in the mens relay.

10. cpg says "what are you doing?" i respond "putting up a blog." her "OHHH i need to do that." check her out here.

this.just.in.

vacation came and went....quickly. mom, cpg, and i had a great week full of sun, sunscreen, food, and alcohol. i ended up with mild sun poisoning, a small burn, a rash down half my leg, and the 7 pounds i lost before we left.

the office was a bit stressful today...if you ask my cohorts, i'm always stressed. the reality is i am seeking perfection.

we FINALLY after 3 years have run out of propane...errr i think it is propane that we hook to our grill. i actually dont quite know what it is. the main point is, it's monday, i worked nearly 12 hours, and i ate pizza. damnit.

RUNNNNN to get the brooke white cd - i love it. she is so....simple. it's nice.

new.music.review.

new music tuesday was definitely worth it this week.

not a big believer/fan/follower of brad paisley up until recently. i have always liked his singles - as a writer, he is fantastic. he can articulate just about anything in a 3 minute song. after "then" became a single, i was counting down until american saturday night was released....

it was SOOOOO worth being 20 minutes "late," to the office....i am usually safely inside the confines by 7:05. however, i wasnt late by any stretch of the imagination....just in my own neurotic o.c.d. way. great c.d.....in fact, it might force me to download the couple cd's i dont have yet.

best of a.s.n. - "i hope that's me," "anything like me," "she's her own woman,"and "american saturday night"

rob thomas was the other reason for my delayed entrance at the office. great c.d. no real favorites yet but r.t. is a likeable guy and easy to listen too - i'm about half way through it and like it so far.

bullets.on.my,mind.

1. beach for a week in 9 days with my two favorite ladies.

2. long holiday weekend starts tomorrow afternoon at approx 3:30, so the rumor goes.

3. day two of running, complete.....not as easy as yesterday but good nonetheless. red faced and sweaty, i love it.

4. booked a trip to islamorada oct. 1-4th.....i see a theme going with my girlfriend's birthday and taking trips, i'm good with that.

5. i have been stuck on christmas for a few days now....a little odd as it is JULY 1....

6. this house feels more like home everyday. i love love love love it. hard work, dedication, and dedication pay off.....big time.

7. jeans on thursday, i can hardly contain my self.

8. healthy trim for a week....i'm not a huge believer, however i am most definitely eating less, drinking more water, and excercising - it can't hurt.

9. more and more mortifed and unhappy that i let myself go and gained this weight in the first place.

10. chester see's g_ _ damn you're beautiful is the sweetest song i have heard in a long time....despite the possibly offensive title.

11. the ankle bracelet cpg made me a loooooong time ago is now safely attached to my left ankle....with no threat of coming off, i like a good rope commitment :) besides, it's bad ass.

12. the bachelorette aggravates me...alot. why the hell did i start watching in the first place.

13. i'm pretty sure i am ready for the weekend.

14. two people on my team are out monday and tuesday, one if which is out all week....s-t-r-e-s-s, but who couldnt figure that out

15. new music tuesday review up next.

the.moment.the.world.stopped.

this afternoon the world stopped for a moment as news broke that a music icon and legend had died. 

michael jackson 1958-2009

regardless of his personal struggles, some that hurt me to the core, he has single handedly shaped the music industry and defined and redefined what it means to the world. more than elvis and more than the beatles, m.j. has inspired and influenced the careers of countless musicians, singers, songwriters, and entertainers. a genius. 

tonight i am still dumbfounded and numb with an incredible sense of appreciation for the legacy he has left behind for it has shaped a huge part of my livelihood, music.

r.i.p.

house.

our house is beautiful.

we have been here since 5/28 and it is more and more amazing each time we drive up and walk inside.

everything is wonderful:
-new furniture
-walk in closet
-huge bathroom
-waking up next to her in a king size bed
-hardwoods downstairs
-clean kitchen
-coffee from the keurig

and the list goes on.

summer.favorites.

1. dq chocolate dipped cones

2. ipod music with sunroof open from mcfarland to home

3. green tevas cpg bought me for xmas

4. cooking out (chicken/steak) with cpg

5. beer on the patio with cpg and jake

6. shoulder length summer cut

7. bachelorette

8. popscicles

9. shorts and t-shirts

10. shopping for 9 at american eagle, af, and hollister

11. weekends with cpg

12. braves baseball / college world series

six.

i feel better about tomorrow, than i ever have this day.

for all of the guidance, patience, encouragement, and understanding - those who know the significance of this day can rest easy, for i am at peace (today).

this year, my struggle came much sooner than i expected. my sleepless nights and tear  filled days came around the middle of may - when i couldn't let my armor crack. stress at an all time high with a life long dream coming through, i crumbled. 

this year, is more of a thank you. this year i have surpassed my own expectations yet failed once again at keeping my own promises.

thank you for scarring my heart and burning a hole in my soul - i am callous and okay with it.

thank you for forcing me to skip a much needed goodbye - i miss her most in april, that door may never close.

thank you for forcing me to suffer, only to realize a much sweeter victory.

thank you for hurting me so badly that i never thought i'd recover, only to meet the love of my life months after my all time low. 

thank you for the vivid memories not only of that day but also of the slow journey to now, it drives me to succeed.

thank you for leading me to believe i would never be anything more than i was to you - trash. 

thank you for lying, thank you for two trials, thank you for showing me that i can stand up to uncertainty, fear, and anger and prove to myself it is alright to hurt and cry and remember. because i do. especially now. especially tomorrow. 

thank you for leaving me lost and alone so that i could force others to suffer and worry about me while reaching out - we have overcome.

tonight i am fearful of tomorrow - my sixth june 3rd since the world falls. tonight i am grateful to a family that clings still to my beck and call; without them i wouldn't be here, literally. 

cait - thank you for believing in me when i don't believe in myself. thank you for wiping my tears and assuring me that tomorrow is another day. i may never move on and i may always have my days; for that i am sorry yet grateful. it makes us stronger - it makes me better. above all else, thank you for loving me unconditionally even when it is hard, showing me life and giving me purpose, and helping my family put me back together. i love you eternally. i dont want to let you down. 

tonight - arlington priest

i can see forever in your eyes

when you're with me i can almost touch the sky

through the storms i wade

is the love we made surrounds me as i fall

and i dont want to let you down

no i dont want to let you down

give me strength to stand on my own

give me words to live what i learn

love me when i'm far from that road tonight as you lay me down

i dont want to let you down, no i dont want to let you down

tonight, tonight, tonight

show me wisdom beyond my years

show me how to hold back my tears

quiet all my deepest fears, tonight as you lay me down

i dont want to let you down, no i dont want to let you down

tonight, tonight, tonight

give me time to show that i've grown

give me peace when quiet is gone

let me know i'm not alone tonight as you lay me down

see i dont want to let you down, no i dont want to let you down

now i  lay me down to sleep,

i hear your voice in every beat of your heart

tonight, tonight