two.

never in twenty-seven years has somebody said anything remotely close to the things that come out of her mouth when talking to me.

speechless? constantly.

in two days SoCal epic weekend 1. when it clicks....it clicks.

not asking why or how but rather, living for that second. no rules, no restrictions, no plan and for an ocd person i will say, this is simple...and easy...as it should be.

heart is happy. she is stunning. fo sho the most beautiful person i've ever seen. i thought nettles was the winner....nettles aint got shit on SoCal.

truth.

understatement.

everything happens for a reason. believe it or not. timing is everything.

2012.

smile on this face since the second it started. no details on that....why? b/c i am the boss.

nye was a lot of fun...not only because of ^ that....but franci popped over and drank with me. one hell of a throw down! i didn't admit it at the time but the combination of dark brown ale, moonshine, patron, martinis, and champagne was one of the crazier (read: not smart!!) things i've done. slight tinge of a headache all day sunday. i'm old....and do NOT do that....ever. whatever, i deserved it. and it was the perfect way to end the shit that was 2011.

this is me owning it! 2012 you're mine!!!

Faster - matt nathanson

"own me, you own

you rattle my bones
you turn me over and over
'till I can't control myself
make me a liar
one big disaster
you make my heart beat faster"

for you ms. o.c. :)

christmas.2011.

christmas was ridiculous....and i mean that.

clothes, shoes, ipad2, funky chunky silverware, books, movies, gift cards, UT stuff, and more. we had one insane morning. it was interesting and fun to be back in the house just the four of us. lots of love, laughs, and tears.

so incredibly thankful for my family and all they endure to hold me up.

tattoo.3.

12/17/2011

1. cody transfered the signature and the detailed drawing that took two hours.

2. holding by breath while he outlined....i'm thinking that the color should hurt less.
3. shading...yep it was worse than the outline.
4. right after he said "done," then remembered he had to turn the eye white and finish the waves.
5. DONE - for real this time. it's all healed up now. no redness or swelling.

domain.geekness.

caved. faught it off for a long long time.....and now a domain.

as if i needed another geek feather. :)

kristian bush at eddie's was phenomenal and ms. hall made me laugh. the woman at the table in front of us watched the entire show through one of three cameras. it was comical watching her try to work her touch screen smart phone that was not an iPhone.

jason connelly at 'cue saturday night with mr. and mrs. barron. damn that man is talented.

we are still waiting on baby everett!! come on, handsome. show us your face!!! ((even though we are kind of rushing you)).

shopping.and.other.news.

the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem....i think i finally/officially have a problem. :)

purchased in the last 3 weeks.

1. 64 gb iTouch
2. 12-string seagull canadian guitar
3. 24 inch iMac
4. bag full of goods from j.crew
5. p90x including the new videos
6. yo gabba gabba stuff for my prince charming
7. hotel size crate / mattress insert for my lil boy


tonight i went to the grocery store for more than just gatorade for the first time since cait threw me away. much to my surprise, the 5lb box of cuties is BACK!! bought all kinds of stuff - kind of exciting.

i've lost all the weight i need to lose so next is toning and getting ready for the re-appearance of some muscles. brother's tattoo artist should be back very soon and the inner bicep tattoo shall begin. so far there are too many plans to fit in such a small tender spot.

nettles got married saturday - what a bummer :)

started christmas shopping today...cyber monday! HEY!!

skinny.

how do you go from 155 to 118 in 9 months?

ALOT of exercise from January to April. ALOT of changing eating habits from April to July. and a lot of heartache from July until now. I have been steady at 115-120 for the last 60 days.

after two months of pulling my pants up and showing my underwear to the world, i've replaced all of my jeans. now my new ones are slightly big (the true religion outlet is TROUBLE for a jean snob)...back in an xs shirt which is fun. flat stomach and bird legs...now if only i can turn this into a 6 pack i'll be even better. it actually might help if i stop drinking beer everyday but then again, what fun is that.

i've recorded audio to the song below...maybe one day ill auto tune that beesh and post it.....maybe one day.

what.i'd.say.

this is an old earl thomas conley song that gary allan re-did in the 90s. both versions are similar...the lyrics are absolutely perfect. days get easier, sleep comes quicker, and the beer flows freely.

check out these lyrics - sat in my office and cried, and cried, and cried.

Talkin' to the mirror, whispering your name
It's just like you were here, you'd think I was insane
I hold these conversations in the silence of my room
Rehearsing all the things I'd say should I run into you

How's it goin', might be what I'd say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I've missed you
Since you went away
You're lookin' well
Or go to hell
Might be what I'd say

There's time I've been so angry
I could put my fist right through the wall
And then there's times I've come so close
To givin' you a call
I love you and I hate you
All at the same time
Then I pray you'll come back to me
Before I lose my mind

How's it goin', might be what I'd say
Well you broke my heart you know
Or it looks like rain today
Or God I've missed you
Since you went away
You're lookin' well
Or go to hell
Might be what I'd say

Or maybe, God I've missed you
Since you went away
You're lookin' well
Or go to hell
Might be what I'd say