closing.2012.

it is only 12/20 but i imagine that between christmas and n.y.e. i will be rather busy. this feels as though it might be rather long in length. keep up.

if i'd only known how perfectly amazing 2012 would be. i declared on 12/31/11 that i'd make 2012 my bitch. i feel as though i did. while driving around athens this evening picking up the last of the small christmas items i thought about how i spent over seven years of my adult life thinking i was happy. what i truly was, was simply content. i wasn't unhappy by any means, i just had absolutely no clue what i was missing. after all, how could i?

i spent the first five months of the year learning. by reconnecting with so.cal i was able to find my confidence again. i was able to smile and i was able to grow. for five months we formed a friendship and a bond that will always be a little different. she showed me that i wasn't broken and that i was worthy. for those five months and the friendship that we keep to this day, i am grateful.

by the time spring came to a close and summer rolled in, all of the work that my team and i put into c.a.m. was crashing down around us. our client disappeared and we laid off most of our colleagues who were much more than co-workers, they are friends. when the smoke and mirrors began to be too much, the father of my fave four and i met on a patio to talk about what may lie ahead. over several beers and half a pack of cigarettes, iCapital was born. it would take hours after work and many weekends to get our plans in place. who knew we could own a business?

a week long family vacation spent right next to uncle joey (walking the beach, laying in the sun, and sitting on the balcony for hours every afternoon watching the waves roll in) wrapped the summer. by the end of september i was working from home and spending every spare minute in the jeep. i met a girl that blew my soul wide open. that kind of instant happiness that you can only describe once you've been there. falling in love with nicole has been the most beautiful experience of 2012. while she is everything that i am not, i've never truly had his passionate emotion for another person in 28 years. can't stop smiling.

2012 has been the most successful (both personally and professionally) year of my life.

p.y.t.

love.this.song.

perhaps the best cover, but i'm not biased. still can't believe ms. nettles is a mama.

jingle.jam.2012.

andy grammer - "ya gotta keep your head up, oh oh"
grace potter - "you and tequila" (though i love her solo records more)
alex clare - "and i think that i am just too close to love you"
phillip phillips - "i'm gonna make this place your home"
jason mraz - "i'm gonna love you, like the woman i love"
ed sheeran - "they say, she's in the class a team, stuck in her day dream"

bad ass line up. mr. mraz was our main attraction as his latest release "love, is a four letter word" is a record that nicole and i can't get enough of. he is just good....good all the way around. genuine love and support for everyone. prolific songwriter, singers, musician, and entertainer. love.

on a completely different note, i had NO CLUE that anyone other than myself had a clue who ed was....or that he is so popular with the tweens. not going to lie, the screaming girls at 10:15 were enough to talk nic in to just listening to his cd on the way back to the athens digs.

we lit up the arena thursday night - spreading the love during the end of jason's set. after the heartbreaking events of this morning in CT, this world just needs more love.

dream.

"everyday that you get up and force your cards
you're playing your story in fits and stars
you take your prospects and your pickaxe
and you trudge down to the stream
and you bloody your hands, digging for your dream" - emily saliers of the indigo girls

a.list.

of some of my favorites from 2012 (in the order in which i remembered them...not favorite order) :

1. iPhone 5 - most fave iphone ever...i can't get enough, seriously. 
2. smash* book - since meeting nicole, i wanted a way to quickly document all of the different things we do together (firsts, restaurants, shows, games, vacations, road trips, experiences in general). it's art, memories, creative juice, and more with out the pressure of perfection. 
3. 2012 macbook air - it is 11 inches of apple perfection. i take it damn near everywhere. favorite apple computer i've ever owned (and that my friends, is saying something).
4. dropbox - using the 128 gb macbook air, there isn't much room to "store" stuff. i use this computer for personal stuff as well as iCap work (photos/music are still on the imac), so being able to virtually save documents on a "cloud" or share them with business partners is fabulous. 
5. dr. dre beats - i have the studios and the ibeats. the music nerd in me is in love with the clarity of what comes out of these headphones on a consistent basis.
6. Toms - i fell hard and fast for Toms when i caved and bought some. between the gray and the red pair, they are damn near all i wear this fall/winter.
7. glow light nook - more electronics. i can't help it. so, i love books. real books with real paper. what i don't love is storing said books in every possible drawer / shelf / basket i can get my hands on to the point that books turn in to stuff. i still buy real books but when i am looking to read and pass the time on a book that i don't intend on needing in the future, the nook (that lights up at night!) is super fun and easy to read on. i can dig it too. 
8. netflix - i have the $7 or $8 a month subscription and i use it on my iPad quite a bit. i am hoping to hook up an apple t.v. to stream movies/documentaries/t.v. shows on after the holidays. 
9. acupuncture - admittedly, i just started but i love it. maybe the inner hippie / crunchy chick is coming out but so far it is helping with stress and chronic hives....also use it to release the pressure on my sciatica. i recommend it....if only to relax.
10. athens, ga - though a huge tennessee fan through and through, i have come to love this city. my girlfriend lives here and i have come to love several of the restaurants / bars that only athens has. i have had some really great food here. 

11.1.

falcons.shoes. 

we.dat.

twenty.8.

currently i'm sitting on one end of the athen's couch with my head supported by the arm rest, feet on the coffee table, and my love similarly placed the other end. the difference is that she is super focused on a final grad school paper and her head is upright...going strong since 5 a.m. i find myself more and more in awe of her and the heart that beats within. for the first time in twenty8 years, she is my equal. my love for her is reciprocated and similarly appreciated. we live in a constant state of how-did-i-get-so-lucky, as we argue over who is the sweetest, greatest, and most beautiful. 

she is my perfection. 

she's my calm, my peace, my home. 

she is my heart.

try.

the.sound.of.a.new.dream.

i've finally reached the end of my employment at CAM. i'd be remiss if said i wasn't looking forward to  the end since june when the proverbial shit-hit-the-fan. the last few months have been filled with stress, nonsense, and legalese. i can also say with certainty that i am ready and have been ready.

for months my business partner and i have worked nights and weekends on our next venture:

it is time to do for ourselves what we have spent the last five years perfecting and doing for others.

have i always wanted to own a business? no. did i ever think i'd have an opportunity to work for myself? no. when the the idea came to us we were at lunch, an infamous stressed out, had enough, need a drink lunch that so very often split our morning and afternoons in june. this is real life this november morning.

doin'.work.and.other.things.

it's been a minute. a long minute.

with the help of google and about 30 minutes, i fixed the html code for the twitter widget to the right. the geek in me is super proud.

this blog is mine. it's my thoughts and memories and more importantly, how i've seen the world at any given moment over the last nine years or so. it was started at the request of several friends when i figured out that expressing myself in words was something that i was decent at...then i started to like it. what is here,  is various parts of my life as i saw it through my eyes, heart, and soul.

moving on:
in an effort not to expose my inner cheese and to maintain the privacy some of the most beautiful moments of my 27 years, 11 months, and 7 days on this earth, i will proceed with some sort of caution. when i met nicole, my heart raced. when she hugged me, it was different. when i finally kissed her, i knew. she is brilliant. smartest girl i've ever met with the most genuine heart and soul of any other woman on this planet. she has opinions and we don't stop talking. she is passionate about asl and the ability to one day marry the one she chooses regardless of their gender. i've never met another who is so proud of who i am, what i do, what i stand for, and the way i treat her. it's a mutual admiration unmatched by any other and i cannot wait to introduce her to the world as mine.