logical

lyrics that describe alot of people....oh and i got my new glasses today.

if at first you dont succeed
simply lower expectations
your give up line is immediate
with out any hesitations

oh, you put off your procrastination tomorrow
and go get drunk off the money that you borrowed
and how you deal with your shame
is by never letting your self take the blame

you claim you're a product of what you've been through
as if no one else in the world has it harder than you do
and you say that there's never anybody around
did you ever think it was because you keep letting them down

so, stop all this fucking around its just logical, logical
no life is disaster bound, it's just what you've turned into
and you say theres no way cause no one loves u but u
and they never will until you do

i'll admit, current civilization
now depends on instant gratification
anything can be delivered at your door
but anything worth having is worth waiting for

what's worse though is your aware you've decided willingly
that you're turning yourself into your own worst enemy
for your rose colored glasses you traded your soul
just to get the illusion your life is under control - lindsey hinkle

oakley

label brat - i know.

BUT my new glasses are oakley.....and i love it.

AND i bought a 40” samsung t.v. - yeah i’m an adult.

fuckin stud

bri's

What' s the last mistake you made?

not going to bed.

Is the sun shining?

nope - dark and raining

Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?

yep

Do you like text messaging?

yep

Are you having a good/ bad hair day?

i dont think i ever have a good hair day - it is always on my nerves

What was your last purchase?

dinner at taco mac

Are you wearing any make-up right now?

negative

What are your plans for later ?

sleep

Does anyone like you?

perhaps

What is your current obsession?

work

Do you have a dog?

jake

Ever been kissed under mistletoe?

i think it was fake - but still

Would you ever smile at a stranger?

sure

Ever done a random act of kindness?

maybe - i am sort of an ass

Do your toenails have nail polish on them?

nope

When' s the last time you wore eyeliner?

few years

Last curse word you said was?

who knows, they come rolling out

Are your lips chapped?

maybe a little

Are you currently jealous?

of what?

Do you own an ipod?

yes

Did you have a dream last night ?

not sure

What made you smile today ?

girlfriend

Are you mad at anyone?

mastercard..brandsmart - just off of principle

Who is the most random person you know?

someone at work.

What' s going on this weekend?

addison’s birthday

Anything bothering you?

cait is in school - sucks

Do you wish you were someone else?

nope i am famous

What jewelry are you wearing?

rings, tiff. necklace, earings

Ate any exotic food lately?

steak - i just started eating meat.

Are you easily amused?

i think so.

Can you lick your elbow ?

not trying

Do you have a crush right now?

is it a crush if it is a 5 year crush?

What is on your mind just this second?

cait’s lab report that i have just been commissioned to do

Are you happy with your given name?

somedays....i like bailey better

What is your guaranteed weeping movie ?

i dont watch movies

What is the one thing you like to do alone ?

pee

What do you carry with you at all times ?

wallet, keys, phone

Favorite communication method?

text

Do you own a Bible ?

yes

What should you be doing instead of this?

cait’s paper or my project for todd

Who was the last person who called you?

frenchie

What' s the relationship between you and the last person you texted?

he is my daddy

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a C?

everyday!

Who was the last person to send you a myspace message?

no clue - maybe dusty

What are you doing tomorrow?

working

Whats the last thing you had to drink ?

miller lite

What was the last thing you ate?

A piece of toffe e choco late bar. YUM!

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?

cait is in school :( and i have work to do

Have you spoken to your mother today ?

yes

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?

last night

Are you happy ?

of course

Is having sex on your mind?

is now

Would it hurt seeing someone kiss the last guy/ girl you kissed?

um i’d kill both of them

Do you hate your recent ex boyfriend/ girlfriend ?

i dont have a recent ex

What do you usually do first in the morning?

pee

Do you know anyone that smoke s pot?

nope

Would you kiss someone to make your bf/ gf mad?

heck no

Are you different now than you were a year ago?

yep

Are you sarcastic?

alot

Is there a song that makes you think of the last person you kissed?

quite a few

Has anyone ever seen you in your under wear?

everyday prolly

Do you love anyone right now?

yep i do

tough

and brandsmart sucks too.

i have a brandsmart mastercard....expired of course. the first rep told cait that we have to call and ask for the replacement card. UM NO.

so brandsmart sends these lame emails everyweek about what is on sale - this week 40” bad ass

samsung lcd. however!!! there was no way to give us the temporary card number so that we could use the card (and the no interest until 1/10) to get the t.v.

ah maybe we didn’t need it anyway....i closed the account and they can both rot.

fave

1. 1.iPhone - i love this damn thing
   

2. 2.flipping out - the show
   

3. 3.hurley t-shirts - stud
   

4. 4.lindsey hinkle - logical, whole, thicker than water, blackberry winter
   

5. 5.rainbow sherbet in a cone - totally obsessed
   

6. 6.ellen - is it monday yet?

beef

ew things on my nerves at the moment -

1. nasty comments made by die hard sugarland fans (and radio d.j.’s who think they have a clue) that weren’t around in the beginning in regards to the lawsuit filed 7/29/08. kristen hall was the brain behind the band - marketing, managing, and booking. she remains a fantastic songwriter. had something happened to nettles and bush after hall left and the band fizzled, they would want to collect losses from her as that was the agreement. **i love sugarland and i love kristen hall, i miss the old days often **
   

2. lint that gets in to the case of my iphone.
   

3. songs purchased on itunes cannot be moved into garageband - i am no longer buying new releases via itunes for this reason.
   

4. headaches over my eyes and temples have made the last week miserable - i hope it is something the eye doctor can correct.
   

5. i am far less productive at the office on fridays in casual clothes - the dress pants and shirts have given me a horrible complex.
   

6. i wake up every morning at 5:30 a.m. when the alarm is set for 6.

oh shiz

just back from the beach. i had a blast. the house was amazing, the water was amazing, and the food....amazing.

mornings were spent on the beach with the waves, bocce ball, and the sand. afternoons encompassed “beverages” at the pool. nights involved restaurants, road trips, and “beverages.”

first paid vacation = complete! i really had a blast. i think cait and i did a fantastic job financiall

etheridge and life

mle played chastain last night. i got cait and i pretty damn good seats - 8th row a little left of center. it was phenomenal.

the show was amazing! a few songs in, we locked eyes once the older ladies took a seat and sang:

“i wanna find me a car, with only one headlight

a straight 6 ford on a good luck night,

i wanna roll down the windows and teach you to fly

give you a thrill, the kind you can’t buy”

and i nearly freaked

she smiled right at me a handful of times...which WILL put you on a head trip.

being so close to a talent of that magnitude rocked. for the first time ever (that i have seen) there were TONS of empty seats. regardless, she sounded great and thankfully played alot of album cuts from all of her records and quite a few from the awaking....which every human should own. the material comes across very political but she has a way with words and melodies that is unparalleled in this universe. i love her more every time i see her live - go figure. the most entertaining songwriter. she rocks.

on another note, but not TOTALLY unrelated, i am overly content with my life now. i have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, and my career (yes yes it is) is taking off almost flawlessly. it is wonderful to be who you really are in a business environment. i really have the best co-workers around.

50 from jami

1) Favorite hobby? music

2) Have you ever smoked heroin? negative

3) Do you own guns? negative

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? i dont go - cept for cherry limeade

5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? no

6) What do you think of hot dogs? i think i have to eat them sometimes

7) Favorite Christmas song? all i want for xmas is a real good tan - k.c.

8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? starbucks, juice, choc. milk

9) Can you do push ups? sure

10) Can you do a chin up? sure

11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry? cait’s ring, spinner ring, and tiff. necklace from the parentals

12) Do you like blue cheese? yup

13) Ever been in a car wreck? yup

14) Do you have ADD? i did at the beginning of college....i can control it now sorta

15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself? i need to lose 15 lbs....

16) Middle name? bailey

17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment..

1) l.c. is retarded

2) it is 10:30

3) melissa etheridge on friday!!!!

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday

nothing!

19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. coke zero, bud select, gatorade

20) Current worry? fuckin continuing ed

21) Current hate right now? him

23) How did you bring in the New Year? with my girlfriend and my fam.

24) Where would you like to be right now? w/ her in the sand

25) Name three people who will complete this? eh

26) Do you own slippers? yep

27) What shirt are you wearing? under shirt...lame i know

28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? nope

29) Can you whistle? not well

31) Would you be a pirate? sure but i dont know what they do

32) What songs do you sing in the shower? deb, hinkle, halcyon, indigo’s

33) Favorite girl's name? mason

34) Favorite boy's name? jake

35) What's in your pocket? no pockets

36) Last thing that made you laugh? cait messing w/ l.c.

37) Best bed sheets as a child? i had boring sheets as a kid

38) Worst injury you've ever had? broken forearm...i think

39) Do you love where you live? yes

40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 3

41) Who is your loudest friend? hmm up for grabs

42) How many dogs do you have? 1

43) Does someone have a crush on you? she might

44?? why is there always a question missing

45) What is your favorite book? to kill a mockingbird

46) What is your favorite candy? twix and reeces

47) Favorite Sports Team? vols

48) What song do you want played at your funeral? um no

49) What were you doing 12 AM last night? sleeping

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? i’m warm

5 years

the usual annual post...that i had no intentions of writing until i could not keep the lump in my throat a minute longer.

that nagging tear in my right eye has been there since i woke up this morning. the thought of this day has been hidden - i try not to think about it.

my mission: to finally put this in a safe place and move forward. i say every year i am not ready. i am not ready to stop hurting but this year, i wanted so badly to look up and notice that june 3rd passed without a second thought.

tomorrow i will wonder how i made it 5 long years and i will know the answers. they all have a name and a significant place on a shelf i call my heart. so many words are spoken out of admiration and respect - still it feels wrong. still a part of me is raw.

the bigger part of me wants to be that person that is capable of letting go, putting the pain away, and being the visual i feel that i should be.

in five years i have conquered 2 trials and countless days spent laying in the floor convulsing in anger and sadness.

the eating disorder sickening feeling has surfaced and i have faught it all day - another bout with that is the last thing i need...emotionally anyway.

i want to say that this song on my friend rachel's cd - has saved me these last few days. i love her and i am honored to say that i carried these lyrics in my pocket through my second trial in its entirety.

lean

it makes me wanna cry to see you walk through each day
like you're in hell on earth
there are no words
and i cant change the cards you've been handed
it's not fair and i cant stand that it turned out this way
so all i an say is

lean
if you need to
i will hold you
i wanna make this lighter and
smile
like you mean it
you dont have to brave it on your own
you're a fighter
but even heroes need to
lean

you wont show your scars to no one
always trying to be the strong one
and save the day
but you're not okay
cause you can't run when you're on empty
and i can't help if you won't let me
this burden you're draggin
ain't even yours to hold
so just let it go and

lean
if you need to
i will hold you
i wanna make this lighter and
smile
like you mean it
you dont have to brave it on your own
you're a fighter
but even heroes need to
lean

cry some tears
admit you're scared
and know that i'm right here so

lean
if you need to
i will hold you
i wanna make this lighter and
smile
like you mean it
you dont have to brave it on your own
you're a fighter
but even heroes need to
lean