saturday.in.pictures.

recap:

after the dirty girl 2012 5k

 prior to shower but after hose...my ear was full of mud

 shirt

 letting dad drive me to dinner in the jeep 

dad with his pro beats and new computer explaining why eggs are white...VERY LOUDLY!!

 sunday jeep shopping w/ momma and picked up these bad boys at abbadabbas on the cheap!

rest of the weekend spent napping, reading, and a tiny bit of work.

i know alot of people saw the video of the boy with two moms addressing his state congress....he wrote a book "my two moms" and i am picking it up one night this week when i finally wrap the dragon trilogy. in other news, SoCal's birthday present will be here tuesday or wednesday and i can't wait!!!

two more weekends until four days of palm springs with my lady!

meemaw's.five.

1. meemaw broke her damn arm.
2. meemaw is retiring...forcefully for the second time.
3. meemaw isn't driving anymore...forcefully.
4. meemaw is seeing a neurologist for alzheimer's.
5. meemaw is otherwise in perfect health.

it's been hard to wrap my mind around what this means; to really accept the things that are happening and the changes that are real. truth is, i'm half a year away from 28 and she is 84. she is our matriarch, our glue, my strength, and to many she is the sweetest soul on earth. she is confident and honest. emotionally she is a rock. she has lived the last 26.5 years without her husband and the last almost 14 months without her only son. she's a good sport when i tease her and a sponge when i teach her. my family is lucky to have her, to have learned from her, to experience life through the tiny elephant-like eyes that we all look to for comfort, reassurance, or our own happiness. behind those eyes is a woman that has spent the majority of her life away from her homeland and her family. a woman who knows heartbreak and heartache. a woman who has told me in some of my darkest hours, "when you get mad, you cry and that's ok. just do it and then move on."i'll lift her up anyway that i can - i adore the ground her size 5 feet walk on and i stand in awe of everything she is.

i have cried a little everyday this week, but i haven't moved on. i'm anxious to see her again and bend down to hug her little frame and kiss the cheek that comforts like the calm after a raging storm.

i am so happy that she met my girl last week, it was really really important to me. the picture of the two of them is super sweet.

bizzy.

that's how it sounds with an accent. today i had to remove the heads of several agents from their respective rectums. those are always fun conversations...especially for those that sit outside my office and can hear my side of the conversation.

disclaimer: apparently you can tell i'm from good ol' GA when i get good and pissed off. (also when i'm tired/sleepy).

regardless, things are looking rather impressive for april...yes already. three months in a row? yes sir. high fivin', talkin' shit, and tearin' in to reports.

i was even called a sweet heart by a client today....AND she has met me....in person :) clearly that was a day i was shakin' hands and kissin' babies....not fighting fire with fire. (aka spewing the profanities that roll so easily off my tongue).

seriously, i was in the office from 7a-5p and then workin' it from the home office and the cell phone from 5:50-7:45. wednesday needs to tread lightly.

emergency.response.testing.

in other words, the whole office worked from home today. i went to bed sort of early for me (as of late, anyway) and slept until 4. at 4 i let jake out, drank the last of the purple gatorade, jake drank water, i did a little work then we went back up to bed and slept until 7. nicely done eh?

day starts at 7 and waiting on everyone to "show up" took until a little after 9. then came the policing of who is actually working. a quick task search revealed that they were all working however all the asset manager's except for the few out of state AM's were saving all of their marketing plans and list price reductions for tomorrow. sneaky. i ran at lunch time...totally could get used to that idea. hit the grocery store at 5 and it absolutely doesn't feel at ALL like a monday.

i found out the kentucky v. kansas game doesn't even tip until 9:30. that means the championship game and the END to march madness will not be over until after midnight. there is so much money on the line that i have to know who wins (kentucky) before i go to sleep.

now? lounging on the couch...kind of reading...kind of looking around. i wish i didn't hate everything on t.v. perhaps i should start recording more shows so it's a little less painful.

bullet.fact.sunday.

- started my day with a call from a beautiful girl.
- cut the entire yard today....lil sunburn on the arms.
- still can't decide about the gardener, its a really good workout.
- dinner with mom, dad, uncle randy, and nana!!
- blizzards with nana. :)
- read more of what i call the nest in my swing chair.
- met some neighbors...i know, the introvert. shush.
- worked for a little over an hour to catch up for our "emergency" work from home day tomorrow.
- jake chewed up a paper "the fray" cd case while i was cutting grass.
- laid down to nap, then remembered i have a battle with insomnia going on and got up.
- layin on the couch with purple gatorade watching the ACMs
- added to "our" bucket list
- just got a text from dom regarding sara evans camel toe and on that note, i'm out.


spent all day saturday with my dad. we worked, ate, ate, ate, ate some more, and got hair cuts. then we drank beer and watched basketball.

nine.thirty.

somehow, i am not sleeping through the night. i haven't always been a good sleeper...i've certainly had my bouts with insomnia and sleep deprivation but nothing recently. i could go to bed at 9 or 10 and sleep until 5:30. now i go to bed at 11:30 and am wide awake at 4. i've always been able to operate on minimal zzzzz and i'm still operating just fine. problem is, jake now thinks we need to play and go outside between 3-4.

annnnnd there is another problem. i am not a fan of feeling like i should go to bed at 9, struggling to find something to do until 11 only to be up downloading moronic television shows on my ipad at 3. or 3:19. or 4:04 as has been the case this week.

life at the office is pure insanity. 110%. i love what i do. i love who i do it with. i'm good at it. not blowing smoke, i'm really fucking good at it. problem is, i don't know when to stop. i don't know how to put it away and do something else. i am passionate about performance. i am driven by our rank. i am motivated by success. i thrive on solving problems, skipping lunch, working late, and maintaining my reputation. that said, i have a breaking point. i dont think i have ever broken from stress, or the work load, the agents, or a territory. in fact, i dont think i've ever said no or walked away with questions unanswered, decisions not made, or utter frustration pushing me down.

i drove home in silence. complete silence. i had one conversation on the phone. one via text. then, i fucking stood up and decided that THIS IS WHY I AM WHERE I AM. i'm the captain of this ship and i'll be damned if a single pirate is going to tear down what my blood, sweat, and tears built from the ground up from 08 until now. i'm a performer. and perform is what we do.

TY to mom and dad who delivered dinner at 9 p.m. (salad, dont fret).

i am grateful it is thursday, that i have a team of some pretty amazing people at the office, that my boys hold me up even when they want to beat my ass, that starbucks was delivered to my office this morning, that mom and dad care enough to drive 30 minutes for dinner, that SoCal knows me well enough to say 'buck up', and that i have the sweetest four-legged boy that loves unconditionally.

and now it's ten.

not.kidding.

good grief. it is only wednesday....i feel like it should be some time next week after how long the last three days have been.

literally yesterday, when talking to SoCal, i decided that it was wednesday...then realized our evening schedules were not in line for wednesday and suddenly she forced me back to tuesday. ew.

today tom (thomas, train, sweet-t) took the brunt of my excessive force and excessive cussing. sometimes i don't have the patience required to maintain my composure after repeated episodes of bullshit. today i lost it....more than once. so after tom calmed my red ass down for the fifth time we went downstairs only to find out that it was HIS turn to buy our drinks! how is that for turning it around. today we picked starbucks sparklers....see the following PSA for more on that fiasco. thank you handsome for being my punching bag. yikes....and stop visiting the farm without me. you dick. :)

public service announcement: the starbucks sparkers are weird as hell! its some random green coffee that they flavor to taste like juice and basically t-sweezy got ripped the f off! $8 for 2. ha. sorry bout your luck...back to red bull tomorrow!!

love driving the jeep at night - last night was on the chilly side. alright it was borderline cold. if i didnt have such big muscles, i am fairly certain i would have been cold.

finally, (because i just thought of this!!) if i had a $1 for every comment i've gotten on one particular picture of SoCal dancing in the living room i could pay april's mortgage. (this could potentially be news to one ms. SoCal, if you didn't know, you do now!). my favorite so far is from my super country housekeepers. "my gosh she sure is purdy, damn she is real real purdy."

obsessed.

i am fairly certain this is casey james' new single...best song on his record. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

love the way you miss me -

Girl the way you’re talkin’ now
And everything we’re talkin’ about
ain’t no way, no how
I can put this phone down
Even though we’re miles apart
I can feel you touchin’ my heart
Lyin’ here in the dark
Wishin’ I was where you are

CHORUS:
Baby, you’re driving me crazy
Girl if I could, you know I would
Be right there right now
Baby, you’re making me lose my mind
And I’m counting down the days ‘til I get home
I love the way you miss me when I’m gone

CHORUS

You know what I want to hear
Girl you’re comin’ in loud and clear
Like sweet music to my ears
What I’d do if you were here

CHORUS

Girl I hate these nights
When I can’t hold you tight
Because I know by your side
Is right where I belong

be.

perfect reminder. thank you, love.

bulleted.news.sorta.

depending on who you are...this may or may not be exciting.

1. today, i slowly opened the mailbox to discover quite a few envelopes (i love gettiing the mail...nothing good ever comes (except rolling stone), but i still love it....e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y!). i get inside and discover a white envelope from an attorney. finally, MY RECORDED DEED! officially official.

2. aggravated the sciatica issue that started 5 years ago. i had gone two full years and three months without a flare up...pain in the ass....literally.

3. spent two hours talking to my aunt friday night. she spent quite a while talking about the way that i write...it's the best way that i can get my point across. effective writer. if only words flowed out of my mouth this easily. regardless, thank you. i do love a comma.

4. my boy has been super snuggly this last week.

5. no thanks to SoCal, jake is still off the bed which means folding laundry in my room instead of down the hall is fab-u-lous. pretty sure he knows who the soft one is.

6. truth, i wasn't going to shop for clothes and then, all of my dress clothes were HUGE on me. who cares, except for the three day client visit..seriously tragic looking pants and shirts that could very well hold two of me now. my girl forced me to express to get enough to get me through the week...thankful for that. whew. that oversized-playing-in-your-dad's-closet look would have been a hot mess.

7. finished the girl that played with fire.....this trilogy has me captivated. it is very gruesome in parts and many people thought i couldnt get through it. lisbeth salander is my freakin fiction she-ro. bad ass beesh.

8. bought the sweedish blu-ray box set. soon as i get through the hornet's nest it is ON!

9. still weigh 117 though several of you are trying to change that. f'ing stop.

10. gold starbucks card...yes bitches, i am that into it.

11. black, neon yellow, and red running/trail/training shoes are on the way. dr. c doing his thing to cure the "leggish butt" before they get here.

12. not sure if anyone has noticed but i am excited as hell to be back to see my girl in less than two weeks."it's not that bad, could be two years," well thank you for that, gorgeous.

13. lionel richie's duets album = love! couple of them make me wanna dance....but i wont!