it has been three years since my world was turned up side down and my foundation was shattered. i remember life before june 3, 2003 and there are days when i am not too fond of the life i live after june 3, 2003.
it is a day forever burned deep into my soul. a day that wears heavy on my heart and mind. i layed there quiet, lifeless yet feeling every single move. even the minute ones. feelings that are hard to forget. memories that drive me to be who i am everyday.
the word bitch is no longer a derrogatory word, it is a badge i wear daily, with honor. i appreciate the connotation of the word because i have learned that to be taken seriously and to catch nobody's excess bull shit, i must be very hard. i walk around like i have some sort of authority and people respect that. whatever it may be.
i am still angry, bitter, upset, and extremely emotional. there is a stubborn part of me that would love nothing more to never lose these feelings. as long as they are present, i am reminded of a) where i have been and b) how far i have come and c) what i am going to do to change the lives of others who have seen what i have seen and worse.
tonight i know i wont sleep. tomorrow i know i wont eat and i will feel everything 10 times more than i should.
to my beautiful girlfriend that i hope to one day make my wife- thank you for your support and undying understanding of just how unforgettable this day is. your love means more to me than i can ever express in words. written or spoken. i thank you, from the bottom of this tangled soul.
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